Sarcastic fangirl and professional procrastinator

spoooky-couch:

whenever i’m leaving a conversation i say “bi” to remind and tell people i am bisexual. for some reason this has not been working very well and most people think i’m straight despite my reminders. however, they do sometimes praise me and say “good bi” in response.

kawaiilluminatii:

dasfreefree:

i couldn’t make this up even if i tried

kawaiilluminatii:

dasfreefree:

i couldn’t make this up even if i tried

pansysky:

spookytox:

reaill:

grimfemme:

I just wanted to eat breakfast ;(

welp now we know the distinction between the two

Have….have people…not eaten shredded wheat before? The regular sized ones?

You put it in a bowl and pour milk on it (with sugar + cinnamon if you’re not some lunatic fiber satan who just wants to eat wheat strings) and let it soak a bit before breaking it up and eating bite sized portions with your spoon.

DO PEOPLE NOT KNOW THIS?!

NONE OF US KNEW THAT

zevransbutt:

me: *points at adult character who is taller, stronger and older than me* small child. must protect at all costs. shelter. very tiny

xyle:

bookslayer13:

xyle:

*unconsciously touches own boobs in public* *remembers im not suppose to do that*

I think you mean subconsciously

no. catch me at your local walmart asleep in the Ball Cage gripping onto my titties for dear life

A limerick:

asgardiantelevision:

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Doesn’t look like a limerick to you? Try this:

A dozen, a gross, and a score
Plus three times the square root of four
Divided by seven
Plus five times eleven
Is nine squared and not a bit more.

we-are-in-lesbians:

gavin free? i love him. just the way he [clenches fist] frees all those gavins

queenkobara:

You can tell comics are written by middle aged white men because they don’t know what it’s like being on the other side such hate and persecution. They haven’t seen the affects of genocide or how evil people truly are.

These men writing these comics have no real world…

skeletism:

salt-and-pepper-skeleton:

free them

prisoners of the skeleton war

skeletism:

salt-and-pepper-skeleton:

free them

prisoners of the skeleton war

abbeyisacartoonfreak:


helioscentrifuge:

justyouraveragehaggis:

beckyhop:

zftw:

we need to talk about that house loan

It’s gonna cost you a leg. Specifically, that guy’s prosthetic leg.
I need it.

I also need that guy’s eye.

okay what fucking fandom does a guy lose his prosthetic leg and his eye?

nobody tell him

abbeyisacartoonfreak:

helioscentrifuge:

justyouraveragehaggis:

beckyhop:

zftw:

we need to talk about that house loan

It’s gonna cost you a leg. Specifically, that guy’s prosthetic leg.

I need it.

I also need that guy’s eye.

okay what fucking fandom does a guy lose his prosthetic leg and his eye?

nobody tell him

the-bucky-barnes:

zetsubonna:

the-bucky-barnes:

Most of the intelligence community doesn’t believe he exists. The ones that do call him the Winter Soldier. He’s credited over two dozen assassinations in the last 50 years.

This is the best. This is basically how post-recovery Bucky should read to everyone in my fics: giant fucking goofball trapped in a master assassin’s body.

did you hear that? master. assassin.

the-bucky-barnes:

zetsubonna:

the-bucky-barnes:

Most of the intelligence community doesn’t believe he exists. The ones that do call him the Winter Soldier. He’s credited over two dozen assassinations in the last 50 years.

This is the best. This is basically how post-recovery Bucky should read to everyone in my fics: giant fucking goofball trapped in a master assassin’s body.

did you hear that? master. assassin.

metal-rider:

jennikeatts:

focusbtch:

syrianlady:

This will happen when you leave men alone with babies.

facking hell i cant stop laughing

I like how in the first one he shakes the baby to make it grab the candy

So the moral of the story is leave men a lone with babies

soccercopdoc:

stardustacolyte:

Don’t buy a girl flowers. Flowers die. Buy her a dragon.

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